Choices

I know what your thinking. Your thinking that this is unlike my most recent pattern.
I like to keep things interesting...and keep people guessing! Why? Some may say because I don't want anyone to know really who I am, while others may say because variety is the spice of life. Both? That brings me to a theory. I don't always believe in a right and wrong, especially when it comes to relationships. Sometimes I think there is right and right, just different. For instance how the hubby does laundry (wishful thinking?) vs. how the wifey does laundry, or the dishes, or mows the grass, or make the toilet paper go over or under. I mean really at the end of the day does any of that matter. I never read the book but I know it exist somewhere, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Yep, that's all small stuff to me and not right or wrong just different. Anyhow, I will cary on now. Choices. We all have choices. I used to think that I had this clear idea or picture of what I thought my future was going to be for me and my children. I had my own idea and then it's like my sister says, it's funny how life gets in the way of life. Oh the irony. Here I am reflecting on all the choices that I've made that have led me right to where I am now. It's time for me to make another difficult choice. I have this thing where I love people. Sometimes people annoy me but for the most part I think people are pretty cool. If I could have one wish it would not be world peace, all the riches in the world or never ending wishes, no, it would be that all people find their purpose and happiness in their life. That would be my one wish. Sometimes we are faced with choices that we don't want to make and we want someone to make them for us. This however is not the way it is supposed to be. There are things that we don't want to let go of and we let them weigh us down. I think the thing I don't understand is how we can go from one extreme to the other. And of course by we, I clearly mean me. If something doesn't work out for us in the way we think we should or because we struggle with a particular weakness, we think that we must not try at all. This would be opposite of what Socrates said. "......That we need not even try...." to find out that which we do not know if we truly believe that it can not be known. In attempt to find self love and acceptance and to equally except others for who they are, one must not go from one extreme to the next to express "individuality." But one does need to make choices good and bad to find truth in who they are. I think that I've missed the mark a couple of times. I only pray that now I will be braver and more courageous in the choices that I make. That now everything I do or say will lead me to where I want to go. I think we just have to find where we want to go in life. I only pray to be a positive influence for all those in whom I meet through out my life. I want to be a force for good. I know that I make mistakes and so my only other prayer is that while wanting to be a force for good, that may mistakes don't lead away the hearts of those around me. There are choices that I've made most recently and I'm sure more that I'll make in the future that will convey the opposite of my previous prayer. For that, I must ask for your forgiveness in advance. Know that while I am attempting to find myself and happiness that my most recent choices have not been the best. I strongly believe to each their own and that all deserve the same respect. If you don't have a friend come sit next to me. I also believe that I can relate to anyone about something, anything. I've yet to meet someone that I have not been able to relate to in some way. That's why I love people. Here's hoping that my future endeavors and choices lead me to where I want to go.