Strange things that provoke emotional responses

"If you were half the man your father is....your father was captain of the Starship for 12 minutes, he saved 800 lives including your mothers and yours, I dare you to do better..."
Do you know what that quote is from? Yep, you guessed it, Star Trek. Now, you may be asking yourself how this line amongst others has moved me to tears. Well, I rented Star Trek because I work with a bunch of what some would call "geeks." I mean you gotta love geeks, but we can get extra credit if we watch the movie, so I figure what the heck, I'll watch it. Good old Captain Kirk who was left in charge of the Starship when the Ramulens attacked the Starship and the first captain was killed. So Captain Kirk who was captain for 12 minutes and in order to defeat the Ramulen attack could not put the ship in auto pilot and had to manually fly the ship into the opponents..okay so assuming that you've seen the movie I'll get on with it. You see Captain Kirks wife was in labor when this was happening and spent the last few moments of his life talking to his wife while saving her, his baby and the rest of the crew. Ethan then asked me, "Mommy, why did he have to die?" And I proceeded to tell him that sometimes one person has to die in order to save the rest. Immediately after telling him this my thoughts turned to that of Jesus Christ and his life and mission. As some of you may know and others not, I've been on this quest of sorts in order to find some peace in my life. And of course after this thought, I thought of Phillip. How I miss him. How I wish to hold him again. How I don't deserve him. How he had to die. I think I know now that he had to die in order to save me and many more members of his family. I understand this now. I wish to hold my husband again, and hug him, and kiss him. I know that I don't deserve him but have to send out to the universe how I love him. I have made my own mistakes and traveled my own path, but the one thing that is the same is the love I feel. And through my tears of sorrow and heartache, I understand the heartache of some of those who are close to me and who are suffering from their own personal issues. The feelings of guilt, sadness, depression, wanting peace, wanting to be touched, held and loved. How my heart feels for yours. I wish you ever happiness and peace and joy. I know that you have to go through your own journey to find yourself, but I need you to know that I understand how you feel. Though we may not speak often or know each other better, I sincerely feel for you. I let myself cry today. Phillip, if your reading, I know that our time was short together. And though I'm not fully aware of the extent of your personal feelings at the time you left this world, I know that you are still very much alive. I love you and I miss you terribly. Sometimes I can feel you, I can feel your touch, your kiss, and I can see you..my only prayer is that you had some sort of peace when you died and that even though we were not in the best of times, know that I did love, no do love you. I can't express in words what I feel and only help that you are allowed to feel them with me. I have some people that were very close to me up there with you, please tell them I said hi. I never met my grandfather on my dad's side before he died but have always felt some sort of connection with him. I've never expressed that before to anyone. I can't explain it but will you introduce yourself to him and talk to him for me? I anxiously await the day to be able to see you and him face to face as well as other members of my family and friends. I know that the day will come...may God be with you until we see each other again.